Meet The Brownie ...

Few days ago, during our lunch break, a friend pop up a question about where we are going to be in 10 years, i love this question and i usually ask in important moments, so here are the expectations =) Ahmed, wanted to be engaged =) very ambitious, don't you think?! Dalia, They expected her to be a TV announcer, as she was a media graduate and has that sarcastic attitude. Mona, she will have her own company in Portsaid, her home town. I, one expected that i would be a writer, either in literature field or the e-marketing and advertising field, it cheered me up although it never came to my mind. I love that, because no matter how life seems difficult now, which is not el hamdolliah, we still expect better future, we always see hope in the unknown, we do not expect the wrinkles, the failed marriages or that some of us might not live to see what happen in ten years, we see only happiness, may this wish come true ya Rab. After that i decided to write where i want to be in 10 years, w

That wonderful amazing book you could ever read, I have already read half of it and I can not wait to tell u about it. When you start reading it, you start thinking "oh, come on life is not that easy" But by time you go on, it forces you to give it a try, why not? And after a while, you start thinking "oh, I know that secret, we have it in our religion, is not it the amazing religion ever?!" تفائلوا خيرا تجدوه • عن أبي هريرة - رضي الله عنه - قال : قال النبي - صلى الله عليه وسلم - : يقول الله تعالى : ( أنا عند ظن عبدي بي ، وأنا معه إذا ذكرني ، فإن ذكرني في نفسه ذكرته في نفسي ، وإن ذكرني في ملإ ذكرته في ملإ خير منهم ، وإن تقرب إلي بشبر تقربت إليه ذراعا ، وإن تقرب إلي ذراعا تقربت إليه باعا ، وإن أتاني يمشي أتيته هرولة ) .رواه البخاري و مسلم حدثنا معلى بن أسد حدثنا عبد العزيز بن مختار حدثنا خالد عن عكرمة عن ابن عباس رضي الله عنهما أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم دخل على أعرابي يعوده قال وكان النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم إذا دخل على مريض يعوده قال لا بأس طهور إن شاء الله فقال

"She been like a caterpillar in a cocoon until he had drown her out and shown her that she was a butterfly" Pillars of Earth Ken Folet P.S this is how it should be, don't you think?!

El hamdolliah the job is great, i love it and guess what the people are extremly nice and well behaved mashaa Allah, i mean all of them imagine ?! =), actually i go everyday with a smile on my face, i even don't mind getting half an hour earlier. so, for people out there who hate their jobs, go and risk and search for another one, because not all jobs are boring, stressful, and lack fun but before you make your decision, ask God for guidance. "Pray Istkhara" Thanks a lot for everyone who prayed for me and may Allah give you whatever you wish for and good for you.

Ok now i am starting losing my mind officially =D, i have been under stress for quite sometime, and as a result i have sleeping problems and sometimes nightmares that wake me up and i find myself thanking Allah so much that it was just a nightmare. Recently, i have begun to see hallucination kaman =) Hole in the roof hallucination: yesterday i wake up at night and i freaked out when i imagined a hole in the roof and in a second, i wondered where that part of roof fell, because there was nothing in the bed beside or over me, i still turned on the light and checked and i found the roof good and complete el hamdolliah. The open door hallucination: 2 weeks ago or so, i also wake up at middle of the night to drink water, i imagined that someone opened the door and close it and i was sure that i went to ask my mom, who was still awake, whether she is the one who did that but of course she was not. Am i getting crazy or what?! Rabana yostor...anyway have a peaceful night inshaallah

I am so nervous, i am starting a new job next Sunday inshaallah. It is another career shifting but still on the track. Pray for me اللهم لاسهل إلا ماجعلته سهلا وأنت تجعل الحزن إن شئت سهلا

I was tagged by IBHOG to start count my blessings which are enormous so he limited them to 5-10, since it is the best tag, here we go; 1. Being healthy el hamdolliah, it happened once that i got really sick and i stayed in bed for almost 3 days, i could not get out of it, i could not eat or do anything, i got really bored, that is when i realized the health gift i took it for granted but not anymore el hamdolliah. The word: amazing 2. Going through tough times: although i have been very good at school and have always been appraised by my teachers, it was hard for me to find a good job until recently el hamdolliah, i learned a lot from this period el hamdolliah. The word: Hardship 3. My niece: i love her so much and enjoy her companion a lot even when she is really noisy, i love when she makes me smile when i am really sad, when i just remember her and smile coz i remember some of her actions, i love when she hugs me, i just adore her el hamdolliah. she called me fafa few days ago =D T

If your God is my God, then don't worry He always keeps up His promises... el hamdolliah

For the first time in 7 years, i have not waited for your message. For the first time, i don't get over excited upon getting it. I did not read it so many times till i memorise it. I did not search for the meaning behind it. Once i got it and knew it is yours, i deleted it without regretting. And finally, i moved on, my past. and it feels great =)

A shrink, a psychiatrist or whatever they call it. That is something i don't want to do. I don't want to listen to people complain about their lives. I don't want listen to sobbing about their lives whether it is really bad or they are spoiled. I don't want to listen to people problems while my mind is occupied with mine. I don't want to listen when i can not give a solution. I don't want to go step by step to find a solution. I don't want to talk about failed marriages, relations, weird orientations , or even addiction. Oh God,that is a really tough job, gloomy job to have, May Allah help them. What is the job you can never do it?!

Failure does not mean that you actually failed, it means that you need to build new muscles for the next round

My brother (i am his spoiled baby sister) : do whatever you like. Me: mahi dih el moshkela, that i don't know what i like anymore.

I am still in Sudan and i am leaving tomorrow so i thought to give you an idea about my beloved country where i really enjoyed my staying el hamdolliah. First, The Nile: Second, this place called el 3'aba or the jungle, my cousins told me that there are monkeys there but we could not seen them because it was about raining See how close we were from the Nile actually there are parts of this land are being covered by water when there is a flood. The Sudan national Museum This one is funny =) i can not remember who is that but it may be our great great grandpa =D bas look how long is this neck?! While we were sitting on a cafe' on the Nile, we saw about 6 eagles hunting fish from the water, that one caught one, it was amazing Actually it was a great trip and the weather was amazing el hamdolliah.

I am blogging now from my second country Sudan, for those who don't know i am half Egyptian and half Sudanese, so it is my first time to visit Sudan and i love it. It really nice to see the country where my beloved dad RIP came from and now i understand why he loved the country so much. The moment we landed, it rained heavily and i realized the moment i am out of the airport that i am finally in Sudan. Actually the smell of it is different, the color of the sand is different too, it is near to red. people are extremely nice and well behaved el hamdolliah. since i came, we visited people and a lot of family members who know my dad came to see us. In Sudan, there is nothing much to do, but we are planning to go to the only mall here =), go to see the Nile, and the national museum. bas keda. In general i love the country so much and here is a pic for the view from the balcony, till i take real pics to show you where my half part came from.

Today i went for shopping with my uncle, sister and niece, and my uncle has been robbed by someone who cut his pocket in a blink of an eye, and that is why i believe sharia should be applied. yes i wish to see that thief has his hand cut in front of the public and i wish he even burn in hell, you know why because he stole money that he is not his own, from an old man, over 60 years old, with a diabetic who if that knife or whatever he use to cut his pocket reached deep enough into his flash,he would be dead by now, Allah forbids. and most probably it is not his first time and i am sure he would spend the money on something that would give him another reason to be burn in hell. so if you think it is cruel and he should be put in a prison for few months to get back and do the same act again, i don't care about your opinion, for God sake, he could have worked instead.

Do we see truly who we are? Do we really understand who we are? Do we understand how others see us? Those who pray in time and fast and still not fair and liars, do they understand that this is inappropriate?! Those managers who think that they owns their employees, keeping them working hard for extra hours for pennies. do they understand that this is unfair?! Those who steal from a company which refuse to pay for them and they believe that it is their right even if it is stealing, does that sound ethical for them?! Do we really know our worst qualities? and if so why we don't accept criticism?! Why do we criticize others when if we looked deeper in ourselves we would see part of what we criticize? Do we really don't like to interfere in others' lives tab how this gossip magazines and TV shows have succeed?! Have not you met someone who dressed up really bad and he thought that he is too elegant , have you wondered that when last time you felt like him, someone else thought

Some get it the easy way Others get it the hard way Eventually, we all get what we want and deserve what makes us even is The determination and The persistence

waiting could be a nice thing waiting could be a blessing waiting to marry the love of your life waiting to see the one you love. waiting to start your dream job waiting to see a friend or a relative waiting then is a blessing but waiting forever is definitely a curse

It really piss me off when i deal with arrogant people who believe that they are better than others because they are prettier, richer,or more educated. They believe that they got it all. Arrogance has different aspects like: Racism : in 21 st century, i still see people who differentiate others based on skin color. It happened once that my relative,who is btw black, called people with darker skin slaves, i got furious and asked him how can he still hold this idea when Islam empathizes that we all God slaves and no one is better than other except with religiosity and what made it worse that he himself is BLack Arrogance was Satan biggest sin because he refused to obey Allah's orders because he believed that he is better than Adam (SW) only because he was created from fire but Adam (SW) was created from dust. No one said that being created from fire is better than being created from dust but his ignorance blinded him Atheism: arrogance can lead to atheism when one believes that he t

when the blues fill the air when losing dreams becomes a habit that is when you decide to give up that is when you trade your dreams for nothing that is when you stop fighting But among the blues, a wish is about to happen someone gives you a hand Excitement goes into your blood you try to hold it down you try to hold your breath you try not to dream you try to remember every time you got the same excitement and you did not get what you wished for Being optimistic does not help they say being pessimistic is safer they are definitely right But nothing keeps you from praying And hoping this one will be different And your heart won't be broken this time you start dreaming you start making promises and waiting whether for a heartbreak or a life change

Today is my 25th birthday Time for life analysis looking behind some goals have been achieved el hamdolliah others have not been achieved yet I have enjoyed life I have enjoyed meeting each person of you It was a nice experience after all If we forgot the anger, the failure, the hurt but do i look forward for another quarter?! I don't but if it happens I will make the best of it inshaa Allah and it will be better in the second one Ya Rab el hamdolliah for everything i already have P.s Happy bithday for all Geminis out there Mama, uncle, Zanzoun, Saluma Gjoe , Innate_inanenuss , Marooned , Sou , insomniac اللهم أجعل الحياة زيادة لنا من كل خير واجعل الموت راحة لنا من كل شر

I miss feeling overwhelming

I have been tagged by jessyz and after i wrote it, i discovered that Umslopagas had tagged me before i did so here we go ; 8 things i am looking forward to inshaa Allah : 1. My engagement day :) 2. My brother's wedding. 3. My second nephew/niece birth inshaallah. 4. Hair treatment. 5. Getting my own home 6. Seeing my 2 friends who living abroad 7. Zanzoun's first ballet class inshaallah 8. Being successful "ya Rab" 8 things i did yesterday: 1. Finished angels and demons novel. 2. Met a friend. 3. Cleaned the house. 4. pick up my niece. 5. Went to work 6. played wz my niece 7. Read blogs. 8. Ate macrona bashmil 8 things i wish i could do: 1. Swimming 2. Riding bikes in Cairo streets. 3. Riding horse on the beach. 4. Travel to Spain and France. 5. Speaking french 6. nice job 7. Ice skiing 8. Presentations 8 shows i watch : these days i watch only Grey's anatomy so i am going to say in general. 1. Grey's anatomy. 2. Friends. 3. Ghost whisperer. 4. Bab el Hara.

2 days ago, i decided to quit i hated that job, i tried to force a smile on my face every time i go but i could not. it was so boring and all i had done is watching the clock so the time would come for me to leave. it did not satisfy me either in gaining more experience or money wise so i quit. Now i have to explain to everyone i know why did i quit, i hate that, so in attempt to cut long story short, i tell them i am a girl and i don't have to work anyway :S when i told that to my friend yesterday, he was shocked and told me that i used to think differently. i have not changed, i just don't want to talk about it anymore. i just quit a job, it is not the end of the world, "i hope"

As you can see from my previous posts that i have been angry and sad for a quite long time now, i am angry at people around me, friends, family and my manger . And most of all, i am angry at myself. the thing is that i am not used to failure and i never expect that i fail, i have always achieved what i want to and if i have not reached my goal, the results were always satisfactory and near to the main goal. so now i fail, i did really, i have not achieved my goal, i have not got near achieving it, and eventually i lost my way. so i got disappointed, and angry because i failed and not knowing the reasons. as result, when this anger should be directed at someone. i blame people in my life for not supporting me enough or for telling me to be patient or to try harder, i could not handle advices so i stop talking to them. i came up with false reasons, government, injustice, inequality, bad luck, you name it. recently i told myself that i should not be angry at anyone, because it is not anyb

we ba3din??!!

When you talk to someone and you believe that he is listening when suddenly he shocks you by his opinion, which is not anything related to what you were talking about. When people believe that your success depending on one single issue and as long as you do not achieve it, you are only a loser. When you feel satisfied about your life, but people are not . When you change what people did not like and then they blame you for that change. When the one who raised you, does not like the way you become. When someone thinks that every bad thing happens to you has only one reason. When people blame you for your choice although when you were choice less, they did not help. When the one you love the most, turns out that he lied about every word he said to you. When you give life up but it keeps hunting you down.

Being a Gemini, talking is the best thing i can do, i am professional talker but recently i start losing this talent. i don't open my msn or yahoo, i deactivate my Facebook page, i don't answer my phone and i don't mind if it turns off. the worst of all, when i sit with family, i have nothing to say, nothing whatsoever, i always had something to say but now not even a word. someone press my mute button i guess.

as i mentioned earlier, our company has been merged with another, so till we settle down, i kept my work on a flash memory. smart and cautious i am, i decided to copy my work on my personal pc . stupid i am bardo i did not copy the files, i cut them... ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ..so angry i am at work now with empty falsh memory trying to call my home, so anyone can send me the files but useless. kaman i discovered today is off after coming to work, i notice that the road is empty but never guessed why. have a nice day everyone. p.s: after reading Umslopagas's post , really i am grateful for everthing el hamdolliah, begad amazing post, check it out

I hate when someone turns the music on mobil so loud at public transportation, i am not forced to listen to ur taste of music which usually sucks, go get headphone and enjoy ur music urself.

It was one of the days that i wake up feeling very lazy to move a muscle, having that long distance headache which bothers u but does not hurt, so it gave me another reason not to move so it would not increase. the weather was so nice but i did not feel like going out. ending the day with babysitting my niece for more than 3 hours was really painful, i took her for a walk, hoping that she might sleep but she did not, we watched finding Nemo, why i did not remember mn badry, anyway thanks God, her mother, my sister, came and i am finally off duty el hamdolliah. tomorrow inshaallah will be another week at work,i am not looking for it honestly after this Friday, and also our company is merging with another and we are going to move so Rabana yostor.

Being a sudanese, it is expected from me to tell my opinion about the arrest warrant of the international criminal court (ICC) against Omar Al Bashir so here is what i think; i am not into politics but i have an idea about what is going around me so i believe that Al Bashir should be judged even if he is not directly involoved, which i doubt, in the genocide against Darfour because he did not carry his mission as a persident to protect and prevent such horrible crimes and he left his people starving to death. I know some poeple would tell me that he should judged by his own country not by a foregin country, and they will start taking about the consipracy theory and how they don't care about the sudanese people and they care only about the new discovered resources of the south. we all know that the possibilty that an arabian president to be judged by his own country is zero. i want him to be fairly judged, to be able to defend himself and if it is proved that he is guilty, then he

RULES: 1. Put your iTunes/music player on Shuffle, 2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer, 3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!! After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do them themselves. 1. IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? Makontsh nawi- Amr Diab " may be to answer this question" 2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? As long as u love me- BS boys " mmm yes, u ll accept me like i am" 3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Awkward- Craige David " i agree :) " 4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Ba3tref- Amr diab " 3ala aih" 5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? Back someday- Blue "may be" 6. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Back to you- Blue " yes from time to time" 7. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? Show me the meaning of being lonely- BS boys "yes, i miss my dad, may he RIP" 8. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY

Sometimes silence is the only soultion when you have a lot to say but no matter what you say, it does not make any difference. Today i feel like that so i won't say a word.

When she welcome me with a smile and come to me once i get home. When she wakes up and u feel that she is late for an important appointment. When she laughs when pulling Popsi's hair "i ll teach her later that is 7aram of course" When she wanna go out with whoever going out even if he is a complete stranger. When she fly with a joy, moving her hands in the air like a bird, and makes that loud laugh to remind me how cute she is when i am about going out. When she is watching Finding Nemo with all her senses, as if she understands every word :) When she watch that krompo contest and focus so hard as if she is going to solve it. When she stubburnly fight with me to type on the keyboard. When she chew on her toothless side of her mouse even she has her first and only 2 front teeth as if she does not know the use of them i just love her, she is so cute and i am very grateful to have just amazing niece el hamdolliah

THE OBLIGATORY PART: Go to your favorite search engine and enter your FIRST name and the word NEEDS in quotes (" [Your name] needs”), and see what comes up. List the first 10 sentences that make sense and then tag some of your friends - and don't forget to tag me back too! I followed instructions -this is what I got... to gain useful skills (yeah, did not i talk about starting a career) mix in company, to live life out ( i already mixed in ,i agree totally on the 2nd part) Something more that people haven't recorded ( to enter Guinnes record maslan :) ) Children Peace Mural ( i wish really) a Hand " i have 2 already el hamdolliah so thanks ;) " to look into the kind of funding " accounting major bardo that is what i supposed to be doing " to be identified "mmm i am already but thanks" facilities " whatever makes life easier, let's start wz laptop :) " to make changes " yeah gedan" immediate attention "no comment&qu

You know me very well You know what i am going through You know what i pray for May be recently i have not prayed enough May be because i know that You know me and know what i want. May be it is an attmpt from me to forget whatever i once wished for. Trying to accept whatever comes to me. I tried hard before because i always believed that my efforts won't be wasted. but people have not been fair to me They hurt me. I complain them to You, because i know that You know me and them. You know that i tried so hard. You know my secrets and theirs. You know what is inside my heart and inside them. I know that i recently have not prayed enough but i know that You know that i need You so much. I believe in You and trust You so much but what if i fail the test. When i think about You, i feel like i am not ready to give up. Whenever You are beside me, i don't get worried. Sometimes i may say other than that, but You know me, i am so weak. so please forgive me

I was tagged Noly but this is a difficult one, i was asked to write 25 things people do not know about me, so after long thinking and asking sister and a friend, we came up with this list: 1. I am half Egyptian and half Sudanese 2. I can not swim, and I wish so much that I learn it oneday. 3. I can never imagine myself married to someone I don't love. 4. I am an optimistic person; whenever I see anyone being depressed I can get him out of it even if I am depressed too. 5. I am unlucky person. 6. I did not know that I am romantic person until recently when I discovered that my favorite movies are those romantic type even so I still don't like Tamer Hosni ;) 7. I love my niece gedan, sometimes I wish my sister give her to me :) 8. I hate to be lonely. 9. I am a worried person, whenever I have something on my mind, I keep thinking about it over and over. 10. I get bored so easily. 11. I feel blessed at many times. 12. I can not judge people at all, all of them are good till they

Since i have noticed recently that many people, including me, are suffering from depression, so i am going to write some words,which are not mine, that motivate me to get out of this mood, hoping it would help you too, so here we go: - Don't tell Allah how big your problem is, but tell your problem how great Allah is. -Thank Allah for what you have and trust Him in what You need. توكل على الرحمن فى الأمر كله ولا تعجزن يوما عن الطلب ألم ترى أن الله قال لمريم وهزى النخل يتساقط الرطب وأن شاء من غير هذه جنته ولكن لكل رزق سبب Noly suggested the following and i really like them, thanks alot Noly "You can't expect to prevent negative feelings altogether. And you can't expect to experience positive feelings all the time...The Law of Emotional Choice directs us to acknowledge our feelings but also to refuse to get stuck in the negative ones" "You can be greater than anything that can happen to you". ....to be continued p.s whoever has motivational though

i watch them when: they love, they talk, they laugh, they deeply in love. she wanted a ring which he would not give, they fought, they would break up, he would break her heart, then they go apart. he misses her, he would go and talk to her, she would be alone, few words, he would complain the world to her and she would fight the world for him. she would realize how forgivable she became, she already forgot that he broke her heart, she would remember only that she loved him so much, and still. they will get back, he would promise that he won't let her go and would never break her heart, she would pray that he would keep up his promise. but he would not and they would fight and go apart.

I wanna start a career, i have been working 3 different jobs and none of them i see it as a career. i need to travel abroad to recharge my energy and get back to life battle. i need to buy a laptop. i need to get one more cat. i need to make a certain decision and STUCK to it.

I have been tagged for the first time by Umslopagas , thanks Umsolpagas :) Here we go: Favourite Colour: Pink Favourite Perfume (Guys) : Boss Favourite Perfume (Girls) : GUCCI Favourite PJ brand: ya3ni aih Favourite Clothes Brand: Mango Favourite Person in the Entire World: Karim, my Brother Favourite Country: Spain Favourite Car: Porsche Favourite Sport: Balinese in water Favourite Sports Player: none Favourite Spot in the World: الحرم الشريف. Favourite Animal: Cats Favourite Movie: Legends of the fall Favourite Singer: Monir Favourite Day of the Week: Thursday Favourite time of the day: at 5 pm ,at sunset Favourite holiday season: Summer Favourite number: 23 Favourite food: Fries Favourite chocolate: Hershy's Favourite Cartoon: Finding Nemo Favourite Blogger: Organica Favourite Icecream Flavour: Vanilla Favourite Mobile Brand: Nokia Favourite Name: Adam, Kenzi Favourite Hobby: Reading Favourite Room in my House: My room Favourite

For a prayer to be answered. For a dream to come true. For a baby to be delivered. For a brother to come home safe. till then el hamdolliah for everything i already have.

I still get excited every time i get my salary el hamdolliah. I don't accept criticism, may be because i criticize myself all time. today one of my co-worker criticized me, i was furious because it is not his business, then i realize that is what i was telling to myself lately and he is right but still it is not his business. The same co-worker told me once, when i suggest that we eat cake, you people, he means black people, love the cake, right?! i was like ha?! what is the relation btw being black and loving cake we kaman who does not love cake!!! A dedicated song bright my whole week :) I came across this pic while searching online and i love it...are not they very cute?

would Mr. prince charming get married to Fiona if he loves her and live happily ever after?! i mean the real prince charming not the short mean king in the movie, let's say prince charming is Brad Pitt...i am exaggerating but come on it is a fairytale.

he is noisy, he is persistent, he is stubborn. he would not just leave alone. he bothers me all the time. he does not like what i do most of the time. he talks and talks. he would not let me sleep. he would just wake me up to talk to me. he would not shut up. he would repeat the moments i wanna forget. and forget what i wanna to remember. he is noisy, persistent and stubborn, still i can not give him up. because he is my mind and my conscious.