A novel quote

"She been like a caterpillar in a cocoon until he had drown her out and shown her that she was a butterfly"

Pillars of Earth

Ken Folet

P.S this is how it should be, don't you think?!

On my new job

El hamdolliah the job is great, i love it and guess what the people are extremly nice and well behaved mashaa Allah, i mean all of them imagine ?! =), actually i go everyday with a smile on my face, i even don't mind getting half an hour earlier.


so, for people out there who hate their jobs, go and risk and search for another one, because not all jobs are boring, stressful, and lack fun but before you make your decision, ask God for guidance. "Pray Istkhara"


Thanks a lot for everyone who prayed for me and may Allah give you whatever you wish for and good for you.

Hallucinations

Ok now i am starting losing my mind officially =D, i have been under stress for quite sometime, and as a result i have sleeping problems and sometimes nightmares that wake me up and i find myself thanking Allah so much that it was just a nightmare.

Recently, i have begun to see hallucination kaman =)

Hole in the roof hallucination:

yesterday i wake up at night and i freaked out when i imagined a hole in the roof and in a second, i wondered where that part of roof fell, because there was nothing in the bed beside or over me, i still turned on the light and checked and i found the roof good and complete el hamdolliah.

The open door hallucination:



2 weeks ago or so, i also wake up at middle of the night to drink water, i imagined that someone opened the door and close it and i was sure that i went to ask my mom, who was still awake, whether she is the one who did that but of course she was not.

Am i getting crazy or what?! Rabana yostor...anyway have a peaceful night inshaallah

I am so nervous, i am starting a new job next Sunday inshaallah.
It is another career shifting but still on the track.
Pray for me
اللهم لاسهل إلا ماجعلته سهلا وأنت تجعل الحزن إن شئت سهلا

"El hamdolliah" Tag

I was tagged by IBHOG to start count my blessings which are enormous so he limited them to 5-10, since it is the best tag, here we go;


1. Being healthy el hamdolliah, it happened once that i got really sick and i stayed in bed for almost 3 days, i could not get out of it, i could not eat or do anything, i got really bored, that is when i realized the health gift i took it for granted but not anymore el hamdolliah.
The word: amazing


2. Going through tough times: although i have been very good at school and have always been appraised by my teachers, it was hard for me to find a good job until recently el hamdolliah, i learned a lot from this period el hamdolliah.
The word: Hardship

3. My niece: i love her so much and enjoy her companion a lot even when she is really noisy, i love when she makes me smile when i am really sad, when i just remember her and smile coz i remember some of her actions, i love when she hugs me, i just adore her el hamdolliah.
she called me fafa few days ago =D
The word: Joy

4. My sister and my brother: just for being there, for the closeness and love we have el hamdolliah.
The word: irreplaceable


5. I am not lonely person el hamdolliah, i don't come to an empty house and i always find someone waiting for me and i have a lot of good friends el hamdolliah
The word: caring

6. I can read el hamdolliah.
The word: literate


7. Being optimistic, i never lose hope el hamdolliah and i keep trying till i get what i want, mainly because i do believe in Allah mercy and justice and i am sure that i will get what i want and deserve now or in life-after.
The word: Believing


8. Praying: i start praying regularly in collage days and before it, i was wondering how people can pray regularly, it was like a miracle for me, so i am so grateful el hamdolliah that i made it and i always pray that Allah keep such a great blessing over me.
The word: Enjoying

9. For a prayer that has been answered el hamdolliah, i can not tell you what the prayer was but i am so grateful that it was answred.
The word: Acceptance.

10. El hamdolliah for being muslimah.

El hamdolliah for everything i already have and i can and can not count.

For the rules, go to IBHOG's to find Them and for the tag, i tag, The.i.inside, Umslopagas, Redzo, Randomika, Rasha, Lilo, Mani, Batatess.

Thought for today

If your God is my God, then don't worry He always keeps up His promises... el hamdolliah

For the first time in 7 years, i have not waited for your message.
For the first time, i don't get over excited upon getting it.
I did not read it so many times till i memorise it.
I did not search for the meaning behind it.
Once i got it and knew it is yours, i deleted it without regretting.
And finally, i moved on, my past.
and it feels great =)

A psychiatrist

A shrink, a psychiatrist or whatever they call it.

That is something i don't want to do.

I don't want to listen to people complain about their lives.

I don't want listen to sobbing about their lives whether it is really bad or they are spoiled.

I don't want to listen to people problems while my mind is occupied with mine.

I don't want to listen when i can not give a solution.

I don't want to go step by step to find a solution.

I don't want to talk about failed marriages, relations, weird orientations , or even addiction.

Oh God,that is a really tough job, gloomy job to have, May Allah help them.

What is the job you can never do it?!

Thought for today

Failure does not mean that you failed actually, it means that you need to build new muscles for the next round

Btw me and my brother

My brother (i am his spoiled baby sister) : do whatever you like.
Me: mahi dih el moshkela, that i don't know what i like anymore.

My country in pics

I am still in Sudan and i am leaving tomorrow so i thought to give you an idea about my beloved country where i really enjoyed my staying el hamdolliah.

First, The Nile:

Second, this place called el 3'aba or the jungle, my cousins told me that there are monkeys there but we could not seen them because it was about raining

See how close we were from the Nile

actually there are parts of this land are being covered by water when there is a flood.

The Sudan national Museum

This one is funny =) i can not remember who is that but it may be our great great grandpa =D bas look how long is this neck?!




While we were sitting on a cafe' on the Nile, we saw about 6 eagles hunting fish from the water, that one caught one, it was amazing

Actually it was a great trip and the weather was amazing el hamdolliah.

From my home country

I am blogging now from my second country Sudan, for those who don't know i am half Egyptian and half Sudanese, so it is my first time to visit Sudan and i love it.

It really nice to see the country where my beloved dad RIP came from and now i understand why he loved the country so much.

The moment we landed, it rained heavily and i realized the moment i am out of the airport that i am finally in Sudan.

Actually the smell of it is different, the color of the sand is different too, it is near to red.

people are extremely nice and well behaved el hamdolliah.

since i came, we visited people and a lot of family members who know my dad came to see us.

In Sudan, there is nothing much to do, but we are planning to go to the only mall here =), go to see the Nile, and the national museum. bas keda.

In general i love the country so much and here is a pic for the view from the balcony, till i take real pics to show you where my half part came from.

On sharia

Today i went for shopping with my uncle, sister and niece, and my uncle has been robbed by someone who cut his pocket in a blink of an eye, and that is why i believe sharia should be applied.
yes i wish to see that thief has his hand cut in front of the public and i wish he even burn in hell, you know why
because he stole money that he is not his own, from an old man, over 60 years old, with a diabetic who if that knife or whatever he use to cut his pocket reached deep enough into his flash,he would be dead by now, Allah forbids.
and most probably it is not his first time and i am sure he would spend the money on something that would give him another reason to be burn in hell.
so if you think it is cruel and he should be put in a prison for few months to get back and do the same act again, i don't care about your opinion, for God sake, he could have worked instead.

Have you met youself recently?!

Do we see truly who we are?
Do we really understand who we are?
Do we understand how others see us?

Those who pray in time and fast and still not fair and liars, do they understand that this is inappropriate?!
Those managers who think that they owns their employees, keeping them working hard for extra hours for pennies. do they understand that this is unfair?!
Those who steal from a company which refuse to pay for them and they believe that it is their right even if it is stealing, does that sound ethical for them?!
Do we really know our worst qualities? and if so why we don't accept criticism?!
Why do we criticize others when if we looked deeper in ourselves we would see part of what we criticize?
Do we really don't like to interfere in others' lives tab how this gossip magazines and TV shows have succeed?!
Have not you met someone who dressed up really bad and he thought that he is too elegant , have you wondered that when last time you felt like him, someone else thought that your choice of clothes are sucks?
Last time you fought with someone and you refused to apologize thinking that you were right, have you thought that you might have not gotten the whole picture?
Do we see ourselves clear?
what comes to the mind of a killer, a thief, a serious sinner? do they understand that they are really bad people? or they believe that they are good and they have their reasons?!
Have you realized the moments when you were coward, greedy, or selfish?
Do i know i am good or bad person myself, i no longer know but i am sure that i am trying to be a good one and that bad part will be part of me , to when? God only knows.
What about you? have you met your truly self recently?!

Thought for today

Some get it the easy way
Others get it the hard way
Eventually, we all get what we want and deserve
what makes us even is
The determination
and
The persistence

Waiting as a blessing

waiting could be a nice thing

waiting could be a blessing

waiting to marry the love of your life

waiting to see the one you love.

waiting to start your dream job

waiting to see a friend or a relative

waiting then is a blessing

but waiting forever is definitely a curse

Arrogance

It really piss me off when i deal with arrogant people who believe that they are better than others because they are prettier, richer,or more educated.

They believe that they got it all.

Arrogance has different aspects like:

Racism: in 21 st century, i still see people who differentiate others based on skin color.

It happened once that my relative,who is btw black, called people with darker skin slaves, i got furious and asked him how can he still hold this idea when Islam empathizes that we all God slaves and no one is better than other except with religiosity and what made it worse that he himself is BLack

Arrogance was Satan biggest sin because he refused to obey Allah's orders because he believed that he is better than Adam (SW) only because he was created from fire but Adam (SW) was created from dust.

No one said that being created from fire is better than being created from dust but his ignorance blinded him

Atheism: arrogance can lead to atheism when one believes that he too smart to believe in something while not seeing it

so if you don't see me now while i am posting, then i am not existent to you, makes a lot of sense :S

Ignorance: because arrogant people are superficial, so most of the time they ignore the core value of the human because of superficial features.

there are a lot other aspects of arrogance but those are the ones i met recently.

My grandma, May she RIP, used to pray "اللهم علينا ووطى من أنفسنا"

My advice for myself and anyone who is thinking that he/she is better than anyone else for whatever reason to remember that we are from dust and to dust we return and what would matter then our deeds.

whether you are pretty , rich or educated, all that can go in a blink of an eye and then you would find people who look down at you exactly the way you looked down at others.

The prophet PBUH said that no one has an atom's weight of arrogance in his heart will enter paradise.

p.s. i love that tiger, very beautiful and strong

Rush of excitement

when the blues fill the air

when losing dreams becomes a habit

that is when you decide to give up

that is when you trade your dreams for nothing

that is when you stop fighting

But among the blues, a wish is about to happen

someone gives you a hand

Excitement goes into your blood

you try to hold it down

you try to hold your breath

you try not to dream

you try to remember every time you got the same excitement and you did not get what you wished for

Being optimistic does not help

they say being pessimistic is safer

they are definitely right

But nothing keeps you from praying

And hoping this one will be different

And your heart won't be broken this time

you start dreaming

you start making promises

and waiting

whether for a heartbreak or a life change

A quater of a century

Today is my 25th birthday

Time for life analysis

looking behind

some goals have been achieved el hamdolliah

others have not been achieved yet

I have enjoyed life

I have enjoyed meeting each person of you

It was a nice experience after all

If we forgot the anger, the failure, the hurt

but do i look forward for another quarter?!

I don't

but if it happens

I will make the best of it inshaa Allah

and it will be better in the second one

Ya Rab

el hamdolliah for everything i already have

P.s Happy bithday for all Geminis out there

Mama, uncle, Zanzoun, Saluma

Gjoe, Innate_inanenuss, Marooned, Sou, insomniac

اللهم أجعل الحياة زيادة لنا من كل خير واجعل الموت راحة لنا من كل شر

I miss feeling overwhelming