My Last 20 Something

It is my last 20 something birthday unless I live to be 120 something =)

I feel happy and grateful el hamdoliah for all I have been through.

I love when I feel good on my birthday el hamdoliah.

Although I have not achieved what I want but am so grateful for what I achieved so far el hamdoliah. I have done my best so it is not my fault that life was not that easy el hamdoliah.

I have a lot to do in last my last 20 something :)

• Taking off my braces..Yaahhhh \0/.
• Getting a car inshaallah.
• Travel abroad inshaallah.
• Be a better person inshallah.

They say 30s are the best, I have one year to try, I would let you know how they are inshaalah

Popsi

I have not talked about my cat a lot in this blog, I guess I only mentioned her once or twice, so since she is now 7 years old and she is very important to me as I get to know people better, I fall more for her.

• Here is when I first got it, the first year, she was younger

•  I carry her to get a proper picture of her <3>

 

• Here is the scary look, it completely does not define her, she is the cutest, kind heart cat.

• What are you eating look =)

•  Sleeping like an angel.

• Fully awake =)

• One day I lost her, it was one of the worst days, my whole family was looking for her with me.
• She welcomes me when I return home. she could hide all day, only appears at the time of me coming home.
• She stays where I stay.
• She wakes me up whenever I am late or she just bored or need to eat.
• She has a personality of her own, she would not eat any food, proper food only.
• She cleans herself after you pat her.
• I have always been an animal-lover since I was a kid, and I had a lot of pets, such as dog, frogs, yeah frogs, chicks, rabbits, turtle, birds and finally Popsi. she is my favorite one ever.
• Whenever people claim that cats are not as loyal as dogs, stereotype they don't have dogs nor cats, I want to tell them to look around and tell me how many people are as loyal as dogs.

Spiritual Journey

Last December, me and three of my friends went to Sharm El Shaikh and on the last day we decided to climb prophet Mosa's mountain PBUH and visit Saint Catherine monastery and it was such the highlight of the whole trip.

It was my first time to do the following things;

• First time to climb a mountain. Prophet Mosa's mountain. 
• First time to do تيمم, it was freezing and my finger were about to fall, a British guy told us how to do it & we prayed el Fajr over the mountain. 
• First time to walk for about 14KM & climb up 750 stairs and back down...It still hurts when I think about it :)

                          "We were supposed to watch the sun rise, but we were so tired to really enjoy it"

• First time to go to Saint Catherin monastery and it is awesome.

 "Have you ever seen such a beautiful sky?! I doubt"

•  I went to the monastery library and the librarian showed me the prophet's testament PBUH to protect the christian rights. It was written by saydna Ali Ibn Abi Talib PUH and was witnessed by a lot of prophet's companions. you can read all the great names in the picture.

The trip was very difficult and am not sure am going to do it again but for sure it was worth it and I do recommend every person to do it.

We were the only 4 Egyptians in this trip, for sorry.

My Little Niece

I adore my niece, the youngest in our family.
Since she was a baby, she was so calm and adorable.
I love her innocence the most.
She thinks that crocodile is حلويات أليفة

I wish life treat her well and that very beautiful smile she has would never go away.
I wish the guy she will fall in love with, would not break her heart or I would break his neck.
I wish she finds her passion early, no I wish she finds every now and then a new passion and challenge.

I wish to be there for here and I would always be her favorite aunt.

Little Pieces

I have not been writing for too long but I wanted to write so bad like before, with all the angry emotions I have, it is not like they are not here anymore, they are here but I get used to them being here and not showing them. they are there in their cage, in my chest.

It has been a long time since I cried, true long time, it is not like I have nothing to cry over, it is like more stronger, or careless, I don't know. I have not been happy for myself for along time either but I have been happy seeing people happy with their lives. I like to share people moments I missed.

I am missing something everyday, not sure when can I get it or would I ever get it. I am not even sure if I will get used to the idea of living without it.

How could people suddenly become so rude? I mean all of them. how often they hurt you? once a day at least. how often do I hurt you?

Am grateful for everything I prayed for and got it el hamdoliah.

As we grow older, a partner is a necessity for survival not a luxury. Friends will never show up in time. No matter what they say about you being a priority, sorry my dear you are not anymore and guess what you will be always there for them. that is how much stupid you could be.

I wonder if you have ever loved me. I wish I would know but I would not like to hear that you did not so I prefer not to know and assume that you did. why would not you anyway?!

I still want to see the ocean, travel to Turkey and ride a horse on the beach, a black glowing stallion.

28

Ok here you are, earlier than expected and since we are going to stay together for some time, we need to agree on the following terms and conditions:

• No more wrinkles please. I don't have to look as if I am smiling or angry when I am not. You are 28 for God sake not 58.
• Don't bring me friends that am going to lose. As much as am used to this idea by now, I still don't like it.
• You better bring someone to fight with over stupid reasons and still won't go. Please not that one again.
• What about trying new stuff?! Everything seems so boring and dull so some change will be nice or I would settle for drugs.
• I don't want to be old and crumby.
• Although I have not be independent for so long, I don't like, it is pain in the a**, Can I retire now?
• Finally, no need to rush, am not in hurry, you could stay for a year and half or even two. you 20s pass so quickly, I can hardly keep up with you.

On a very positive side, Egypt is having, for the first time ever, a real presidential elections on my birthday...Ya Rab we choose whoever best for our beloved country

Pursuit of Dreams

At the beginning of 2012 when I started writing about my resolutions and evaluate last year achievements, I realized that I achieved none.
I spent the whole year trying to get something, and I only focused on it. it and nothing else. It ruined me. I was depressed and horrible and I think it still have its effect on me.
As a result, I read only 3 books bas, one that I could not even finish.
Also I moved to a job that I hated from day one. It was awful & of course I could not stand it.
I decided that I have to stop pursing that exact dream that devastated me but as you know me, I cannot give up something I really wanted even if I failed many times to get it.
So I tried again and guess what, at the beginning of this year, my dream came true el hamdolliah =)

On recent news, I had such fruitful week el hamdolliah, I joined gym and found that I gained 4 kilos, for the first time in my whole life am over-weight, thanks to the snacks that i try to beat my boredom with, so am planning to lose them and get in healthy shape inshaallah.

Since I always believe that we are never too old for our dreams, I decided while am 27 years old to get braces and have the perfect smile I've ever wished for inshaallah.
Inshaallah after the treatment, I will post my before and after pictures till then keep me in your prayers please.

I had my first wrinkle, bai5a awi, it always there in the morning and it takes awhile to fade away, am getting old and I should start using anti-aging creams =(
Who said that dark-skinned people get less wrinkles?!

I was checking the pictures on my laptop and I found your picture, I have never thought I have one, it is so beautiful that I could not make myself to delete it. I will keep it for the good memories.

Inshaallah I will try to start learning driving and French soon.

Contradiction

I have not been so fascinated with the western culture like everybody.
I always see the good and bad sides of it.
I don't take it for granted that they are the more developed ones and we are the stupid illiterate ones.
May be because I love my identity so much as an Arab Muslim.
I love the fact that am Arab Muslim because I believe that Islam goes beyond the human being.
Its core that fascinating me.

Anyway, few days ago I read in a British newspaper a story that completely missed up my mind.
It is about a couple, suddenly the guy decided to go to transgender and became a girl, then he discovered that he was pregnant, shaifeen el 3ak, then the girl decided to go transgender too and became gay..completely messed up..

What drives me crazy, not the fact that a man got pregnant wala the fact that baby would not know what to call him or his mom who became a man herself, no no not all of that.

What drives me crazy that society accepts all that and reject other societies principles, for example polygamy.
For them, polygamy is inhuman and unfair.
Although it is documented, conditional and reserve kinship.

Contradictions.

Novel Quote

الحياة تحيرنا. تبهرنا بالبراق من ألوانها, كى نرتاد دروبها فرحا وغفلة, ثم تفجؤنا فى الحنايا الصوادم؟ أم تراها تحتال علينا, بأن تمنحنا أحيانا ما يحاذى أحلامنا، وقد يفوق، فنسرف فى الطمأنينة ونختال بين الخيالات؟..من يدرى؟ لعل الحياة لا تكترث بنا أصلا، فنلاحقها نحن بصنوف الحيل حتى يغمرنا التعلق بالتمنى, والتقلب فى الترقب, والأمل فى اهتبال النوال. عسانا أن ننسى مع مر السنين، أننا فى خاتمة التطواف مسلوبون لا محالة، ومحجوبون...

محال ليوسف زيدان

  

This guy is brilliant, I will buy his books just for the first lines of it, remember this, but to be honest the book is stunning, all of it. You have to read it, no you must,.

My experience with the police

Yesterday we discovered that my aunt's house, who lived abroad, had been stolen.
First thing, me, mom and sisters was to call the police and not enter the flat, first because we were afraid and second not to mess with the prints if there were any..English movies only.
We called the police, its number just for the info 122, he hang up once and did not try to call us back, then we called him again, he asked what had been stolen?

We told him that we were afraid to enter and we cannot enter in order to mass up with the prints, he said he won't be able to get us someone unless we told him what had been stolen.

Then he called again to tell me that I have to go to the police station and file a record so someone can go with me for investigation. ya 7alwa.

At that time, we called a neighbor and go into the flat, prints was everywhere. the thief was really an idiot and he is now free because of our good for nothing police.

Anyway after we went to the station, the guy told us that we cannot report a robbery since it is not our flat.
la2 we kaman after sending us here and there, one very young police man, almost half my height, a kid ya3ni keda, told the other guy make them file a record called "Come and report". the guys started to look at each other and laugh and I knew it is nothing and once we left, they would throw the record into the trash.

There was another poor man who lost his kid, 3 years old, was waiting before we came for the police to come so he can report the kidnapping.

I was disappointed at this country and thought that we need more than a revolution to fix what had been corrupted..الفساد إلى النخاع

On Your Birthday..

Today as you are turning 29, a step away from leaving the twenties, I remember when we first met, you were 22 and I was what 18, we were young and we grow old together.
But you know what you have never changed; you still 22 years old kid to me.
You are still the young kid who does not know where to go.
The one who lost and can not figure the right way to go.
You are still the one who make promises to break.
You are still the one who lie to me and who still want me to believe
The one who always need my help to figure out which way to go.
For me, you were irresistible.
You are still the same kid I once met, but you are just a 29 years old man.
But I am not the girl you once met.


P.S That was a draft that was written 2 years ago, exactly on Friday, February,2009. Today I decided to post it

The 80s

My generation has been through a lot, we have seen a lot, that is might make us age before our time. I just think in what happen, and cannot help myself but wondering is it safe?

Some of events, my generation won't forget;

1985–1987: Sabra and Shatila massacre where from 700–800 to 3,500 innocent have been killed.

1987–1993: First Palestinian Intifada (Uprising)

1990: Invasion of Kuwait (Kuwait & Iraq war)

1995: Bosnian Genocide where 8,000 Muslims had been killed

2000: Al-Aqsa Intifada

2001:

World trade center explosion

Buddha destruction and Afghanistan invasion
2004: Tsunami
2006:

Iraq war and Sadam Hussien hanging, at morning first day of eid el Adha
Lebanon war

2011:

Tunisian revolution and Zine El Abidine Ben Ali escape

Egyptian revolution and Hosny Mubarek jailing.

Libyan revolution and AL Gaddafi killing.

Sudan division

Tunisia new president

Yemen revolution and Ali Abdullah Saleh

UNESCO admitted Palestine as a member, following a vote in which 107 member states supported and 14 opposed.

The United States formally declares an end to the Iraq War.

Syria uprising and killing innocents to be continued.

Osama bin Laden death.

Tawakkol Karman First Arabian woman to win Nobel.

England demonstration

The death of north Korea dictator "Kim Jong il"

2011 you have done what centuries had not dare to do =)

You owe me

You owe me a hug
A hug you described to me that I almost felt the warmth of it.
You owe me my first kid
You owe me a future that I have to live without.
You owe me past that left.
You owe me dreams.
You owe me a ring and small home.
You owe me a lot.
You owe me yourself.
And I owe myself to forget all these.

Anonymous

Ok Mr Anonymous "You cheered me up today"



P.S I wish to know who you are

Condolences

My friend's friend died today of Cancer.
He was my friend's school friend but he was one year younger.
I met him only when my friend came for her annual visit.
One visit, he graduated from engineering collage and started his career
One visit later, Peter got cancer.
Other visit, i met him after he started his chemotherapy and he was cheerful and nice as usual. he still had hope.
I prayed for him.
One visit, he can no longer go out, he was so sick and his friends had to visit him in his house.
Today, my friend told me that he died.
Peter died today after struggle with cancer.
ya Rab all prayers for him to get well had been answered and he is now in better place.
Allah You are the kindest on your people, rest him in peace.
Ya Rab give his parents, specially his mother, the patience on this ordeal.
Allah yer7mak ya Peter ya Rab.
May you rest in peace ya Rab


Pray for him please

Am moving

You know 2 years ago, and exactly in the same time, I found my passion
I decided what I want to do for the rest of my life.
Finally I have a career and I know where to look.

2 years and exactly I Ramadan 1430 h, i knew that I got a new job, although I believed that the other one which I did not got is better, time revealed that this was not true.

Because "إختيار الله خيرا من إختيارنا"

And because I trust God's choice for me, so am grateful el hamdolliah.

Lets come to the most important part about this job, My Colleagues were the most amazing people i have ever met.
You know when you are not in the mood at morning and you want to go to the job, because your friends there will cheer you up.

It is just a blessing.

This spirit was infectious to new people.

I loved them all, i learned from each one of them and am so grateful that i have met them and became a friend to each one and i hope i would keep them for life time.

Am starting my new job after the feast inshaallah same as my old job.

So اللهم لاسهل إلا ماجعلته سهلا وأنت تجعل الحزن إن شئت سهلا"

So Beautiful Quote

قال أحد الصالحين:نحن نسأل الله فإن أعطانا فرحنا مرة وإن منعنا فرحنا عشرمرات!

لأن العطاء اختيارنا والمنع اختيار الله واختياره خير من إختيارنا

P.S I wish i can feel the same but till then El hamdoliah for everything.

Times when a girl hates being a girl

• The eight years old girl who was forced to be kissed on the mouth by someone who told her that he knew her grandfather well and that allowed him to do what he did, yes he was the age of her grandfather and she was just eight or less. she felt so disgusted and did not understand why and why he did so but she felt it was awful enough not speak a word about it.
• The guy in front of the elementary school that showed his penis for school girls. Again his act was not explainable, no girl got it but it was awful scene to be seen & still no one said a word.
• In the public transportation, where sick men act like cats in the heat ready to jump on the first female he finds.
  
• When she walks in the street and men in their cars slow down, clearly define her as a bitch. first she thought that it might be her fault but taking another look into what she wears and how she acts, she realized that he is only a bastard.
• When some stupid small-head man gives a girl a nasty comment, and then you find people say that it is girl's fault. i hate those people more than the guy himself.

- The fact that you are a girl, just a girl, makes you harassment objective, no matter your clothes, how you act or your social class because it is all in their heads not in you.
- Girls are human being not a piece of meat, dreaming of walking in our streets without feeling threatened and without building an ironed shelter around her or have a taser in her bag.

Twenty Seven

I am Twenty Seven...ana ba2eet 27 ya people...
How in God's name that happened, i have no clue but it happened

I am grateful for everything happened to me during those 27 years.
I am grateful for my family, friends and my work that i love so much.
I am grateful that i can find my way.
I am grateful that i have not lost my faith.
I am grateful for every wish i got and did not got.

Twenty Seven please be good to me..I love you already =)

The Royal Wedding

I always love wedding so much.
Every time i see two tie the knot, i wonder how they come to this decision, to live forever and ever for good and bad.
or at least that is what i wish.

Today i watched part of the wedding.
Lets forget for a second that it is a real prince and princess's wedding.
For me they were a couple in love and happy to start their new life as husband and wife.
They were so cute.

The dress ohhhh i adore it...Royal taste for sure.

In short, it was a fairytale that we always have been told about, and i would not get surprised if William turns into a frog and Kate into a pumpkin.

It is a wedding that cheered me up all day.

May God give them happy long life together.


P.S: Men search for your princess and treat her like she is, girls love to feel like princess specially from the one she loves.